ten things i'd tell my future daughter


To my future daughter .. .

#1 Life isn’t fair. 

To my little girl, I’ve spent some time here and I regret to inform you that life is sober in it’s despair. Take all the good you can and don’t be surprised by the evils. You can be angered. You can be sad. But don’t be surprised. 

# 2 Control is an illusion. 

Men will try to control you. You will try to control you. The best form of control is surrender. Don’t go searching for a ground. There is none. Life is a free fall. Anything that seems stable can crumble like a spiritual sandcastle. 

# 3 Art will set you free. 

Dance little one. Admire the colors. Taste the flavors. If you ever feel like painting, go to the store and get paint. Even if you’re 93. Oh, and sing. Sing the good songs so the notes can wash your organs and give you a new body to breathe with when you’re finished. 

# 4 Fall into deep and entrancing love. 

Once you find a person to love, let your heart swell with the richest, reddest blood your body can make and then beautiful, you pour. Pour the love. Give him kisses (or her, I don’t care). Play with their hair. Listen to their fears, share yours. Whisper on pillows. Put a little extra sugar and salt in all the meals you make and smile while you prepare them. 

# 5 Let your heart break. 

I’m sorry in advance for the times your heart will break. I will cater as many miracles for you as I can but just remember, the heart can only break, it cannot spoil. Let it heal by keeping it warm. Look at children. Eat candy. Call the people who make you laugh. Your heart will patch up again. 

# 6 Work in honor. 

I don’t care about your grades. I don’t care about your job. I just want you to enjoy the pleasure of working with love. Work until you are tired. See how it feels like to put every drop of effort and passion you have into something you care about. It feels really good. Almost like sex.

# 7 Peace will not come in anything grand. 

My sweetie, marriage, riches nor fame will not give you peace. Peace will only arrive in slivers as thin as paper cuts. Train your eyes to spot them and over time you will have some peace.  If you can’t find the beauty in the sunshine or ripe fruits, try again. 

# 8 Explore modesty. 

Practice with a book, tea and silence. If you feel like you need more, take away the book and the tea and just sit in the silence. A modest life doesn’t mean modest happiness or modest wealth, it just means you can be happy with the little things and that’s good because that’s all life really is. 

# 9 Don’t compare the world to utopia. 

Save the trouble. Humans are a weird species. We have never really figured out how to get along. Make your money, feel your love and mind your business. Feel lucky we were able to get this civilized. 

# 10 Talk. 

I’m listening. When my nonna died, I thought she left but then I would talk to her and I realized she was sitting inside of my heart. That’s where I will be. Enjoy your life. I gave it to you. One day it will end and then, your daughter will be talking to you. 


Alex Wolf